My family is perfectly imperfect and not a day goes by without humour, tears or tantrums. Blogging is the modern version of keeping a diary so feel free to read along while I share the good the bad and the ugly aspects of being me!

Monday, 26 November 2012

A Possible Future

Since my last post I have had my meeting with "L" and like before she was able to touch on things that were very accurate. She knew that I have been debating for a few months about exploring an alternative therapy but was hesitant because I was concerned about what others would think of me. The truth is that I have been thinking about Reiki for a long time and have considered getting my certification but that is something that many might consider strange given my logical and rational personality.
She said that we would be getting a sizable cheque from the government in the next few months and that we should have a nice dinner but then should set the rest aside and not spend it as we will need the money - I can only assume this is income tax in March, we do generally get a significant refund but normally use it for medical expenses, towards a new vehicle or our plan this year was to put it towards home renovations. 
She said that some find my positive "light" attitude annoying and I may notice that people are keeping their distance from me.... I am not to chase them, I am to let them go.
While here Nick came out of his room and she said "thats the boy with cancer"
(she has never met Nick) - I said yes but he is in remission now. She then asked me when his last scans were because she feels like he is still fighting.
I told her that its been almost 6 months. She told me to be prepared for the results and the fact that he is  going to refuse western medicine but will be open to a more holistic approach. She told me that this will piss off the doctors and I need to be confident enough to advocate for HIS wishes.
I never did tell her that Nick refused the last scans and didnt follow up with the bloodwork that endo requested because he wont take the medication even if something showed up or the fact that he has been very clear that if the cancer comes back he wont do treatment again.
She also said that a male over 30 will have a heart attack, it wont be severe but it will act like a wake up call and he will stop being so negative and cranky and will find a new appreciation for things.
She also said that I am opening and evolving and I've always has a special gift but I have blocked it by being rational, logical and dismissive.... these "things" are happening so that I will become accepting and stop resisting. She told me that things are still going to happen but that I am able to be in control and that once that happens things will feel normal. She said that the spirit that she feels most predominately here is a little boy (as Max has said... his "ghosty boy") and she said she feels like its our boy that hasnt been born yet. She told me to ask Max if the boy is named Marcus. After Max woke from his nap I said "is your ghosty boy named Marcus and he nodded yes, I said does he look like you and he responded nope, him look like Daddy.
I asked her when this boy would come and she said not for a while as I need to manage the upcoming issues.
All in all it was a good session and I feel like "L" is going to be a great help to me. I am trying to be not so logical and more open to possibilities and will see if anything she said proves to be accurate. If nothing else I felt much better after our session, I felt less crazy and more calm and less influenced by the possible opinions of others. Who cares what people think..... right?

Saturday, 17 November 2012

I'm Coo Coo For CoCo Puffs

**This happens whether I am stopped, driving or even just have my battery on without the car actually turned on**

As many of my real life friends and family know a couple years ago I met a wonderful woman who happens to be a psychic. We had a reading party for some fun but little did I know how accurate "L" would be. During the reading my Aunt was told that Nick would "have a rough time" and that it would be a rough year but he would be ok, little did we know that less than 3 weeks later Nick would get his Cancer diagnosis. She also said that my aunt would have surgery on both her arms, this seemed strange as she WAS planning a surgery but it wasn't on her arms... again "L" was right and during the car accident that killed my grandfather Aunt B broke both her wrists requiring surgery to repair them. "L" also said that there would be a male with a heart scare and wouldn't you know a year later Maxwell gets the diagnosis about his heart condition. I know that some of you are skeptical and that's ok, I'm not always sure about my own beliefs but I know that despite my initial just for fun approach with "L" the accuracy of her claims over time have made me more of a believer in her gifts.
I know that I am going to sound a little off my rocker but all of my life "things" have happened around me.... dreams of family who have passed away, sounds & smells and other mysterious things that many describe as "signs". I certainly don't claim to be intuitive or have any special gifts but all I know is that these random things that happen tend to freak out those around me and Dom often jokes that I need to "tell my friends to leave" when things happen around the house.
Over the last few weeks I have felt a sense of calm that I haven't felt in a long time, I simply feel at peace and happy but now suddenly these "things" have picked up and now Max seems to be involved.
While watching Treehouse the other day the toy room TV suddenly went black with the exception of a bright line, a calm female voice spoke of heavenly angels and about how God creates us in his perfect form. Maxwell was entranced in the TV, barely blinking just sitting there eyes like saucers on the TV. I quickly turned the TV off but not before snapping a picture. A moment later I turned it back on and there was Bob The Builder fixing the fire hall just as he had been only moments before.
Maxwell then began waking during the night around 4:22am and speaking about the "ghostie boy".... right now he is prime imaginary friends age so I dismissed his chatter with his new friend.
Now here is the part where I am now questioning my own sanity. I began to notice that when it was only Max and I in the car my airbag warning light would come on. After a couple days of this happening I exasperatedly said "if someone is in this car with me turn that light off right now!" and within seconds the light went off - I almost vomited right then and there!
I have asked my husband to take the car to the dealership to see if there is an electrical problem because I am starting to maybe question my own sanity especially because this only happens when I am alone in the car, it never happens with Dom has the car. Although I felt foolish I "talked to the light" again this time recording it.
I have also booked a session with "L" - I just need to put my mind at ease so that I can stop thinking that maybe I am losing my marbles. 

Thursday, 1 November 2012

Lets Get Caught Up

After 72 hours of eye drops

Max feeling much better

Wow its been quite a bit since I have blogged. Its not for lack of wanting to, its honestly just been a lack of follow through. The past month has been a busy one but lots of things have been accomplished.
I started the paleo diet that I blogged about previously and have kept up my gym routine three days per week. So far I have lost twelve pounds and now have twenty five to go before getting back to my pre-pregnancy/pre-cancer/pre-craziness weight.
I will be honest and say that dieting makes me mad and moody (just as Dom), I feel deprived and angry at the world. To combat this I have had to figure out ways to allow myself the yummy stuff, on the weekends I eat what I want (which is most often pizza pizza and chicken bites) - they taste like heaven but after a week of eating clean my stomach gets mighty mad.... its all worth it though.
Right now my challenge is Halloween candy, we have it in abundance and the chocolate bars scream at me from their tiny fun sized packages purched atop my fridge. Today for lunch I had scrambled egg whites, grapes/strawberries and two peanut butter cups - it was a yummy combo.
The part of this new lifestyle that surprised me is how much I enjoy going to the gym. The trick that I use for myself is my ibooks app on my ipad. I only allow myself to read while I am on the treadmill and when I am engrossed in a good storyline the time flies by.
Some movement is happening for Maxwell too, for a few weeks he has been complaining about headaches, eye pain and light sensitivity. Like a decent mother I took him to the eye doctor who said that he was mildly far sighted (but not enough yet to require glasses) and that she saw some inflammation which could be the result of some allergy etc.... ok she's the doc and that sounded quite reasonable.
About a week after our appointment I woke to the sound of Maxwell crying about his eyes, his Dad got to him first and was quite disturbed to find Max looking the way that he did. His eyes were purple and almost swollen shut, he'd looked like he's been in a bar fight.
I made an appointment with the family doctor suspecting it to be a possible case of pink eye but that wasn't the case. The doctor suspected it to be something called Uveitis which is common in people who have Crohn's disease. We were given an urgent referral to the eye specialist and were seen within 48 hours, awesome but still problematic. Because Max had been constantly putting his hands to his eyes he had then gotten a bacterial infection which made his eyes (and I quote) "a mess" - the doctor was unable to get a really good look. He gave us strong drops to be used four times a day and instructions to make an appointment when Max starts complaining about the symptoms not when there is a visual indication of a problem.
After hearing about the connection to Crohn's, I emailed Sick Kids GI and told them about what happened and I informed her that I want something done ASAP. This child is dealing with enough without now having his vision effected too.
I was actually surprised when I received an email telling me that they had booked a test called a fluoroscopy (ESSB) which can detect GI diseases and disorders with less risk than a colonoscopy.
The travel to Sick Kids Hospital isn't ideal but I am so pleased with the care that we are getting from them, I am hopeful that we are well on our way to answers.

 To learn about Fluoroscopy (ESSB) click here