Out Of Reach

The last couple of weeks have had lots of up and downs, Nick got his picc line removed, the paperwork got sent for Riddick to attend a special school better suited to his special needs and Maxwell had his abdominal MRI.
The not so great parts are that while attempting to "fly" Maxwell used my face as a landing pad resulting in me having a broken nose, it wasnt displaced so I dont need it set or secured but I certainly look a little funny. It was noticed that Kurt had something called pronation and so he now requires arch supports in his shoes and in a few years he will require orthotics to prevent his feet from rolling inward while he walks, and the most frustrating part of things recently is the house renovations.... the bain of my existence.
What I thought would be easy has turned into a nightmare. Our intention was to take out a home equity loan to do the renovations but the government changed how this can be done and now you can only take 85% of the equity in your home.
For me this is a problem because after I pay out my current mortgage and the penalties for paying it off early this will leave me with NOTHING.... its a wash so its completely pointless.
Our broker is a smart guy and his plan was to get the value of our home increased thus increasing the 85% available to us but this again created a problem because by increasing the value of our home this has now also increased the debt ratio and so we were declined by the first lender that we dealt with.
Most people renovate their homes for esthetics but I am doing it for safety and functionality. I am gaining no more square footage, no fancy upgrades and for the most part the floor plan is staying the same but I need a more efficient furnace, hepa filter and insulation in the basement so that the temperature doesnt fluctuate. Our biggest two plans were to relocate our laundry facilities to the washroom so that it can be locked and secured from the boys and then to open the stairwell in the kitchen so that I can see the kids when they are on the lower level.
I am now stuck between a rock and a hard place, if we get turned down again then I need to decide whether to borrow the cost of the renovations from a private lender who will charge a very high interest rate or to aggressively save for roughly two more years so that I can pay out of pocket without needing to borrow.
I dont really have much choice, I cant press pause on the development and medical requirements of my boys.
I get annoyed because it feels like nothing comes easy for me, everything requires so much work, waiting and frustration.... if all of this is designed to instill appreciation I get it, I am full of appreciation already.
I will figure things out, I always do - but the notion that it always feels like I am grasping for things that are just out of my reach is emotionally draining.