My family is perfectly imperfect and not a day goes by without humour, tears or tantrums. Blogging is the modern version of keeping a diary so feel free to read along while I share the good the bad and the ugly aspects of being me!

Wednesday, 23 March 2011

A Little Quote With Big Meaning

We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust our sails 
~ author unknown

This past week has been one of the hardest weeks of my entire life and believe me when I say that over the course of my twenty nine years there have been many hard weeks to choose from but this one takes the cake.
As I stood in the children's hospital gift shop feeling sorry for myself I looked up in an attempt to keep myself from crying and saw this quote displayed in large font on the wall.
They are just eleven short words but when combined they bring such meaning.
I have four boys named Nick, Kurt, Riddick and Maxwell. While they are all my children they all came to me in their own unique way ... I should have known that our lives wouldnt be a walk in the park, we never seem to take the easy route lol
Nick became my son by surprise, he was the best gift that I never knew I wanted and he is now the age that I was when I had him. Kurt was again a surprise, after a family friend fell on hard times she made the most courageous decision and he became my forever baby. I met Riddick on-line ... honestly, after deciding to adopt my husband Dom and I saw him on the local government adoption website and within three months we brought him home. As for Maxwell, he is my meant to be baby. He and I met in a dream and he lived as a hope in my heart for ten years until he became real with the help of science (and lots of money lol)
Each of my children has their own unique needs, Kurt has autism, Riddick has global developmental delay, Maxwell has a hearing impairment which leaves him 80% deaf and this past week we learned that Nick has cancer.
I dont have your typical family and that is something that I have always loved the most, I have always called the way that we function "controlled chaos" but as of right now our lives are still chaotic but there is nothing controlled about it. Right now I am simply putting one foot in front of the other, having no expectations of myself aside from blinking and breathing and most importantly I am doing my best to "adjust my sails" because God has shown me that while I thought that I was in control, the wind was never really in my grasp. There are times that I will stumble, that I will be week, there will be times where my fears will have me by the heart and I will question my own strength but I know that I can do this. While some friends and family have let me down far more have astonished me with their support, compassion, generosity and love
I will be using this blog to journal what is going to be the most trying and challenging time in our lives.... being Nick's biggest cheerleader while he kicks cancer's ass and continuing to be the best mom I can be for my other boys, ensuring that they continue to feel loved, wanted and safe while their needs are met in all areas of their lives.
My husband and I have a long road ahead with these boys but together we will make it and we will come out on the other end being masters of our ships and knowing just where those sails need to be for smooth sailing.


  1. Beautifully written and I am glad you are able to write down your thoughts and journey. We are here beside you with whatever you need!

  2. Right here, ready, reading and ready to laugh, cry, pray and/or swear when you need it. : )


  3. Words can't express how I feel for you right now.... prayers and thoughts for you and your family.

  4. I am cheering your whole family on...sending lots of love and prayers

  5. I don't know you off of this blog but I live in Burlington and if I can EVER help in any way please let me know. My thoughts are with you and I wish your Nick a speedy recovery.....

  6. I am right with Danielle....if you need an ear to cry to ket me know.

    Sending you lots of positive vibes.


  7. From the moment that you entered this world I knew that God had blessed me with an amazing child. You have always been strong and confident and did what needed to be done. You have hid or run from anything and faced your responsibilities with maturity and wisdom far beyond your years. You are an incredible mother and daughter and each day I am more honored to have you as my daughter. You have blessed me with four beautiful grandchildren and I will be right here by your side and Nick's to battle this demon until we have removed it from our lives........I love you both with everything I have and everything I am..........xoxoxoxo