Its the start of a new year and while I am not a big believer of resolutions I am going to make a strong effort to take better care of myself.
Last year I started taking better care of my body and I have discovered that taking better care of my mind and heart is just as important.
I often have a lot of needless stress, I overwhelm myself with things that I cannot change, that are out of my control. Too often I have given myself migraines, kidney stone attacks and cold sore outbreaks from worry.
A money mix up that results in a NSF charge causes my blood pressure to rise and and my whole body to tense up. I can literially become sick from something that isnt the end of the world. I have dealt with MUCH worse over the last few years so its insane that I allow myself to become so over whelmed and although I hate to admit it I often take out my stress on my husband. I can be snotty and short with him and while I don't think I ever try to be mean it wouldn't shock me if I was. While he has his own areas that need improvement, he doesn't need to be my venting system.
This Christmas we got a great surprise, my aunt B came to celebrate with us, sadly on the way here she was involved in an accident and totaled the SUV that shes had for only two months. She got some bruises but over all walked away unharmed..... unlike the accident in 2011 from which shes still not fully reovered from.
Naturally a bit hessitent about making an 8 hour drive it was decided that my mom and I would drive her back home. I've been saying for a very long time that I wanted to go home so I guess somebody got sick of hearing me talk and decided to make it happen.
Northern weather can be unpredictible and we ended up getting stuck an extra day. I normally would panic but there realistically was nothing I could do about it, try as I may I cant control the weather. I sat in my car and made arrangements for the boys since Dom had to return to work and then decided to let the stress go. There were moments that I found myself anxious about the weather especially when hearing that the only hwy in and out of town was closed due to accidents and road conditions (and remained that way for 12 hours) but I talked myself out of the worry and decided to focus on the unintentional awesomeness of the trip. I had an afternoon couch nap that I rarely do, I got outside in the bitter cold with my camera to take some pictures of a place that holds my heart and I got to sit with family around the table and have a fantastic meal. None of it was planned but all of it was great.
That night I laid in bed stressing about the next day, at 11pm the hwy was still closed. That night I had the most vivid dream about my grandpa and woke up feeling as though he had really been there. It renewed my intent to remain calm regardless of my surroundings which was good because the stress kept coming.
While the roads were better then the previous day they still were not good and what should have taken 1.5 hours to North Bay actually took 2.5 hours. My speed remained around 50km and I fishtailed frequently - I used muscles I didnt even know that I had to keep the car safely on the road. I knew that I just had to make it to North Bay and then we would be safe. After that I made up the time and got home without a hiccup only to discover that there had been a financial paperwork mix up and the ACSD payment for the boys hadnt been deposited in my account... awesome sauce *sigh* Who really needs money anyway right???
Typically I would freak out but I avoided it, I did wake up with a cold sore and some aching muscles from tensing up but I cant completely be over my stressful ways. Thankfully life gives me ample practice LOL