On Friday the world was again rocked as news of the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre spread. In the end 26 lives were lost most of which were children. Hero's were created and assassinated simultaneously and the lives of millions were altered in a split second. Images of screaming parents and weeping law enforcement will yet again be engrained in the minds of many.
For a moment I allowed myself to think of the what ifs... what if it was my child.... but I quickly let those thoughts go, they serve no purpose, they only create fear and anxiety.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift that is why its called the present - no truer words have been spoken. The truth is that none of us are invincible and life can be altered or lost in the blink of an eye which is why we have to make every moment with the ones that we love count.
I am not a perfect parent (for the record I don't think that one exists) but I try everyday to let my boys know that they are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Some may say that I coddle my children and perhaps they are not wrong but I prefer to think of it as making them a priority.
I gush over horribly colored pictures, kiss and rub non-existent boo boo's, allow a fear filled child to sleep in my bed, sing you are my sunshine a thousand times a day and even listen to Disney soundtracks in my cool car lol. I ask my teenager about his friends, interests and goals and I tell him that I love him and pretend that I don't notice the eye rolling that occurs.
My husband and I end every phone call with I love you and while it may now be routine and expected I know that should God forbid something happen to either of us those three words were never left unsaid.
Tomorrow is not promised its just merely hoped for, anything can happen.... illness, accident or something more sinister but the end result remains the same.
Take the time to make each day count, say what needs to be said, if you have to stop and think about the last time that you intentionally said or did something kind and loving then its been too long.
Put in the energy to create a love that will long outlast the body, one day regardless of circumstance it will be all that is left.
There is never a doubt in my mind that those that I love know it.... they feel it, their worlds are better because of it and mine because of theirs. When I am on my death bed I am sure that I will have a lot of regrets but I guarantee that dancing around the kitchen with my boys while some Christmas cookies burned in the oven will not be one of them.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,
you make me happy when skies are grey,
you'll never know dear how much I love you,
please dont take my sunshine away