Monday, 8 October 2012
Keep Calm And Eat A Cupcake
Over the years people have asked me how I seem to cope so well emotionally with the stress and problems that life tends to toss in my direction and the answer is simple - I eat.
When I'm happy, sad, angry, bored, overwhelmed you name it I deal with it by eating. I celebrate every milestone and heartache with food and my body has paid the price over the years.
Food became my friend and I loved it... I still love it but I now understand that we have a passive aggressive relationship and I can go from feeling wonderful to resenting myself in the length of time that it takes to swallow.
What feels great in the moment quickly turns into a feeling of self loathing which results in self sabotage and binging. Not the healthiest lifestyle to lead.
I have always struggled with maintaining a healthy lifestyle, like my food choices I tend to binge with diet and exercise. I find a purpose such as pregnancy or needing to fit into a dress for a wedding and work towards it like a fiend and when that's done so are my healthy choices.
I realized the other day that I am now five pounds heavier than I was when I delivered Maxwell. That throughout Nicks illness and Maxwell's health problems I have gained close to 30 pounds over the last two years.
That realization came life a kick in the ass - its time to fix this problem.
I thought about the last time that I was at my healthiest and the answer is when I was pregnant. I ate properly and I exercised and I got enough rest.
Its time to get back to that mindset. Over the last two weeks I have been going to the gym and following the routine that my trainer gave me, I restarted my medication for poly cystic ovarian syndrome and was more conscious about my food choices. Despite my efforts the scale only showed a two pound loss, I was frustrated but focused on the fact that its still a loss. I know that to see the real results that I am hoping for I am going to again have to start following the "PCOS diet" that yields the best results for those with the syndrome according to my nutritionist. I previously lost 60 pounds on that "diet" but I didn't feel to great while following it. I think that the biggest struggle for me is going to be learning to evaluate health based on other factors aside from numbers on the scale or on the tag in my pants.
I'm a work in progress but I am excited to get started (as excited as a girl that has to resist cupcakes can be)