Monday, 11 June 2012
Blah Kind Of Funk
Sorry that its taken me so long to blog anything, honestly I am just in a little funk. Its not a bad funk its just a blah funk and I am growing quite annoyed with it.
I keep thinking that things are going to lift this grey cloud but that doesn't seem to be the case. I was totally pumped about the Relay For Life but then it poured rain and the majority of our team wasn't able to participate at the last minute and so my gusto quickly vanished.
I personally think that all of the different medications that I've taken for the IVF have just messed with my system.... I've been on and off birth control, I've added and taken away hormones and I've beat up my body from the inside out. Anyone thats done IVF knows that its no picnic and so I guess after over a decade my body is taking longer to bounce back.
I'm supposed to be working out like a lunatic and eating a proper diet but so far I've pretty much been living the pizza, coke and Teen Mom Marathon type of lifestyle. Not exactly the best way to get my mind in a good place.
Summer is coming and the boys will be home everyday and while I am looking forward to not having to make lunches anymore I am kind of anxious about the drama that fills their lives when the routine gets messed up.
I have been toying around with the concept of hiring a mothers helper a couple of afternoons per week but in all honesty I am cheap and don't really want to pay someone what they will no doubt deserve.... In the end I know that my mental health comes with a price and I just need to pay what keeping it is worth.
Our back yard is coming along nicely and our family is enjoying it, the boys spend a large amount of time swimming and Maxwell is certainly enjoying the playground.
Nick had his CT scan done and now we just wait for the results and Maxwell went for his GI follow up but is now being referred to an allergist because they suspect that he has a cow's milk protein allergy in addition to the lactase deficiency. He also hasn't grown since his hospital stay over Christmas so if he still hasn't grown by our next appointment in August then he will be attending the endocrinologist appointment with Nick..... Clearly I don't have an issue with growing so I don't know what my bio boys problem is LOL
I think that I need to make a list of what needs to be done to stay healthy and keep my home running smoothly and then do it.... crossing things off the list as I go.
Perhaps after all these years of parenting in such a methodical and organized way I've developed some transitioning anxieties myself.