Thursday, 13 September 2012
Tasting The World
Its now the middle of September and I think that we are adapting quite nicely to our new routine. The boys are still enjoying riding the school bus and Riddick waves fast and furiously until they are completely out of sight.
The transition for Riddick hasn't been without some hiccups and there are aspects of his special placement that I didn't think I would need to address. By the end of the first week Riddick had taken another child's juice box and informed me that he gave away his sandwich to his friend.
How is this occurring with supervision I wondered.... well the answer is, it isn't.
As I suspected there is not supervision, there are 3 adults that wander the halls during the break. It still baffles me how we could say on one hand that these children require a special classroom and constant assistance but once the bell rings and the teachers bellies are growling we can suddenly overlook the needs of these few students.
Normally I would be putting up a fuss and demanding better supervision or I might even possibly go to the school each day at lunch to supervise Riddick myself but I am resisting the urge.
Maxwell has also started pre-school and he loves it. I was worried about tears and drama but he was clearly ready and goes with no issues on his 3 scheduled days per week.
Yesterday when I went to pick him up I saw him racing like a maniac up and down the ladder and slide only to discover his heart monitor still tucked into his cubby inside his classroom.
Normally I would be marching into the supervisors office or even contemplating about whether this is a good place for him but I simply reminded his teacher that she needed to take it and use it when they went outside to play (I smiled and everything... are you proud?)
I am working on letting my children branch off and be independent of me, to give them the distance to fail or succeed without the driving mom force behind them.
To let them get a taste of the world without their mom sugarcoating it... this new method is especially true for Nick. He has hit the age where he and I are not always buddies and I don't always like his choices, my wants and desires for him are not necessarily the same that he has for himself. I've spoken to the social worker and forgetting that he is 16 and not a grown man is apparently normal. That dealing with cancer and its aftermath invokes a sense of maturity and its hard to go back to being a kid. I can understand that to a certain degree because as a teen parent I felt the same way, my birth certificate said one age but my brain and body felt something entirely different.
Raising Nick is going to take a creative approach because I need to validate his need for control and to express his ability to make choices while still being cautious that he is indeed only 16.
This is the age that I am finding parents make such individual choices where their kids are concerned. Some let them drive the new car while others completely refuse. Some let them drink in the house while for others alcohol is a complete no-no, Some encourage part time jobs while others insist that the focus be on school, Some allow forms of expression such as piercings and tattoos while others are very much against it.
I found that around 15 parenting a teenager became like an island..... there was no real "popular" method and it seem to be about survival and making it adulthood alive. I am finding this age a little tricky because none of my peers are there yet, I am the one beating down the path without anyone leading the way and I worry all the time that I am making mistakes. I am finding that my age is very much playing a role in my parenting, my teen years (or lack there of) are very fresh in my mind and I find that I am basing many of my decisions on myself at that age.
I can only do what I think will work for me and my family and thankfully there doesn't seem to be as much judgement towards parents of teens as there is when the kids are younger... there is room to make some mistakes which is good because I promise that there will be many (and thats a hard pill for me to swallow)
I'm working on giving my kids the ability to experience life.... throw open their arms and feel the big world complete with all of the trials and tribulations that it has to offer.
I hope that I make the right choices for them but only time will tell.